The 10 Least Sexy Nude Scenes In Movie History
10. Angelina Jolie in “Beowulf”
Remember when all those crazy RESTRICTED “Beowulf” trailers of naked Angelina Jolie leaked to the internet, and just as everyone who never thought to type “Angelina Jolie Gia” into Google was preparing to go nuts, we soon learned that “Naked Angelina Jolie” actually meant “Naked Dragon Woman Thing From Rejected Pixar Film?” It’d be like if a movie came out billing “Pamela Anderson FINALLY gets naked!” and everyone dumb enough to be excited by it was treated to a CGI’d Pam Anderson-voiced unicorn character with rainbow-colored boobs. Which reminds me, I forgot to Netflix “Beowulf.”
9. Sharon Stone in “Basic Instinct 2″
Perhaps the most necessary sequel in cinematic history (besides “The Whole Ten Yards”), “Basic Instinct 2″ is a gripping, powerful tale about the inevitability of human aging and the overwhelming nature of denial. Sharon Stone is thoroughly convincing as the never-acclaimed lead actress who foolishly equates credibility with being naked a whole bunch of times, but her doctored, leathery flesh merely symbolizes the hopeless pursuit of eternal youth. Unfortunately, I feel like the critics didn’t fully appreciate this biting, cautionary tale.
