Uhhhh okay. So we're doing this now. I thought I was watching a cosmic space drama and then suddenly it's, “I'm pregnant,” over roasted potatoes? The vibe whiplash is unreal.
Anyway—Reed and Sue are acting sketchy at dinner and Johnny's trying to figure it out but Ben? Ben's already there. He just looks up like, “Oh. You're pregnant.” Which she confirms with the exact energy of someone confessing she forgot to buy milk.
July 25. That's when The Fantastic Four: First Steps hits theaters. I mean, it's not like it's just sneaking up—it's literally the whole MCU calendar event now. Galactus (Ralph Ineson) is supposed to eat the planet. Silver Surfer (Julia Garner) is floating around being all mysterious. And here's Sue, in this retro-future kitchen with her little perfect hair, going “we're having a baby” like this isn't the most inconvenient time to spawn.
The 1960s aesthetic is cute, I guess. Very toaster-commercial-meets-apocalypse. But also—who told them this was the tone?? Like sure, the director wants us to believe this is all about optimism and space dreams. But also, Reed looks like he hasn't slept in three weeks and Sue's announcement lands like someone forgot to hit save on the script and just went with it.
And maybe it's me. Maybe I'm too tired. Maybe this all means something and I just don't get it. Maybe the baby is the metaphor. Or the danger. Or the sequel setup.
My cousin legit thought this was a Disney+ series. I didn't even correct him.
I miss when you had to wait for things. Waiting made it feel bigger. Like… heavier. Now it's like, “Galactus is coming.” Cool. “Also, baby.” Uh, sure?
Maybe it's genius. Or maybe they're just stacking plot like it's IKEA furniture and hoping it stands. I dunno. I just know I wasn't ready to cry over a pregnancy announcement from a woman who can literally disappear.
Whatever.
