Goddamn. I’m scrolling X, half-asleep, and boom—Netflix hits me with Long Story Short. Another animated series. Raphael Bob-Waksberg’s name slapped on it like a bumper sticker. You know, the BoJack guy? Yeah, him. I’m supposed to be excited, but I’m just… tired. Tired! Like, didn’t we just get BoJack feels punched into our guts a few years back? Now it’s the Schwoopers. A whole dysfunctional family. Great.
August 22nd, 2025. That’s when it drops. Netflix is calling it a comedy, but it’s got that BoJack sting, you know? The kind where you laugh, then cry, then stare at the wall wondering why you’re like this. It’s about the Schwooper siblings—Avi, Shira, Yoshi, Hannah. Voices by Ben Feldman, Abbi Jacobson, Max Greenfield, Michaela Dietz. Oh, and Lisa Edelstein and Paul Reiser are in there too, probably playing parents who messed these kids up. I dunno. The teaser’s barely a minute. Just enough to make you feel something, but not enough to care.
Anyway—what was I saying? Right. The show jumps through time, like a kid flipping through a photo album, but the photos are all blurry and sad. Childhood to adulthood, back again. Triumphs, disappointments, all that jazz. It’s like This Is Us, but animated and less… manipulative? Maybe? I’m not sure. I’m already second-guessing myself. Netflix is so damn fast with these releases, it’s like they’re speedrunning my emotions. I’m still processing Tuca & Bertie getting canceled, and now this?
There’s this one shot in the teaser where Shira’s yelling about an “invisible line.” It’s so dumb, but it hit me. Reminded me of my brother stealing my fries at dinner when we were kids. He’d do that, you know? Just grab them, smirking. I miss that idiot. Auntie logic moment: back then, you had to wait for shows. You’d sit by the TV, hoping your favorite wasn’t preempted by some stupid baseball game. Waiting made it special. Now? It’s just… there. August 22nd. Blink, it’s on your screen. Blink again, it’s forgotten.
ShadowMachine’s animating it, by the way. Same folks who made BoJack look like a fever dream. Lisa Hanawalt’s producing, so expect that weird, colorful vibe that makes you feel like you’re drowning in a cartoon. I’m not even mad, just… ugh. Netflix, why do you do this? Shove a show in my face, make me feel all nostalgic, then move on to the next thing before I can even process it. No. No. Just… no.
Maybe I’ll watch it. Maybe I won’t. I’m kinda curious about Dave Franco’s character—Danny something. Wegbreit? Sounds like a guy who’d borrow your car and return it with an empty tank. But honestly, I’m already annoyed at how much I’ll probably love this show. It’s gonna wreck me, isn’t it? Like BoJack did. I hate that I’m excited. I hate that I’m tired. Whatever.
