Imagine a world where Cannes juries act like reality show contestants—every critic clutching their ballot with sweaty hands. Well, welcome to 2024. “Sirat,” Oliver Laxe's fever dream about a father trawling a music festival's underbelly for his vanished daughter, just pulled off the softest coup in recent festival history. Eleven out of 48 critics called it best in show. That's officially a “barely” in mathematical terms—and the runner-up, Jafar Panahi's “It Was Just an Accident,” missed the trophy by literally one person with a stronger Wi-Fi connection.
But here's the kicker: Last year's sweep gleamed with consensus (Sean Baker's “Anora” = unstoppable), but 2024's poll is a deranged free-for-all. Three different films snagged Best Film, Director, and Screenplay. This is the festival circuit as temp agency: one-room, forty-eight bosses, zero agreement. The Cannes echo chamber? MIA.
Why 2024 Cannes Rules—If Only for the Mess
Boom. No dominant blockbuster, just a splatter-paint of opinions. “Sirât” winning by a mudslide-thin margin is like if Eurovision crowned its victor because three drunks in Denmark pressed the wrong button. Panahi's “It Was Just an Accident” (ten votes) and Trier's “Sentimental Value” (nine—blink and you missed him) nipped at Laxe's heels, turning Best Film into a knife fight in a phone booth.
And that chaos? It's a flex. This year's split verdict isn't a failure—it's a sign of life after death for the Cannes “consensus” era. The old school—think 2019's “Parasite” steamroll—has faded. Now it's every auteur for themselves. By the numbers, “Sirât” might be the most divisive ‘winner' in poll history.
Savage reference point? In 2017, “The Square” had critics rapt. 2024? “Sirât” takes gold with less than a quarter of the room convinced. Dissent is the new ribbon.
$500 trivia: “Urchin” (Harris Dickinson's debut) won Best First Film. “The President's Cake,” fresh from the parallel sections, broke protocol—second place, outfoxing the Un Certain Regard club. File under: Oscar dark horses and industry chaos agents.
Context Roulette: History Never Repeats—Except When It Does
Let's time-hop. Cannes critics have split before (2021's “Titane” vs “Drive My Car” psionic warfare), but 2024's poll feels uniquely Balkanized. Last year's bake sale was easy—everyone ate the same cake. This year? “Sirât” barely takes it, and no category repeats. As IndieWire's own critics note, there's “no consensus—just a vibrant mix of perspectives.” (Source: IndieWire's official poll coverage.)
What's shifting? Blame it on the global bleed: 48 critics spanning continents, each chasing their own flavor. Films like “The Secret Agent,” “Sound of Falling,” and “Die My Love”—once side notes—now muscle headlong into the top 5 in major categories. Compare that to previous years, where one or two juggernauts ate every ballot for breakfast. (See: Variety, “How Cannes has crowned its favorites decade after decade.”)
A rival poll at Screen International shows similar fractures—Panahi doesn't even crack their top 2. The takeaway? The ‘golden-lion-predictability' era is kaput. (Source: Screen International's Cannes survey.)
And for spice, a New York Times Cannes roundtable noted, “This level of split isn't just noise—it's coded proof that no one film can command the moment.” Pure entropy, baby.
The Verdict Kills the Room—Now What?
So: It's not just “Who won?”—it's “Does anyone agree on why?” (They don't.) Is “Sirât” really the film of Cannes 2024? Or did it win by default, like a high schooler acing the test because everyone else cut class? The answer might be both.
Genius or accidental champ? Decide: Would you watch “Sirât”—or are you just here for Dickinson's “Urchin” breaking the first-timer curse?
