“The Apocalypse Isn’t for Everybody.” Neither Is This Trailer.
There’s a moment in the Afterburn trailer—just a flash—where Dave Bautista grins, drenched in blood and dust, holding what looks like a scorched GPS and muttering something about art. You laugh. You blink. You wonder, Wait… are we supposed to take this seriously?
But that’s the thing—Afterburn, directed by stuntman-turned-mayhem-conductor J.J. Perry, doesn’t want your respect. It wants your attention. It wants to blow the roof off a genre that’s already deaf from the noise. And somehow, against all logic and taste, it might actually succeed.
After the Flare, the Fire
Let’s get this out of the way: the premise is utterly insane. A decade after a solar flare vaporizes the Earth’s eastern hemisphere, survivors now crawl across a scorched wasteland, looting artifacts like the Mona Lisa, the Rosetta Stone, and (why not?) the Crown Jewels. Bautista plays Jake, a treasure hunter with more muscle than emotional range, dragging us through irradiated ruins in search of relics that no longer matter.
And yes—Samuel L. Jackson is there, playing a guy named Valentine, because of course he is. Olga Kurylenko (looking like she’s in a different, better movie) tags along, while Kristofer Hivju, Eden Epstein, and Daniel Bernhardt fill in the background chaos.
This isn’t just post-apocalyptic. It’s post-sense.
Between John Wick and a Hard Place
J.J. Perry’s pedigree is undeniable. He’s worked on John Wick, F9, Gangster Squad—his stunt credentials are longer than most screenplays. His first feature, Day Shift, leaned goofy; The Killer’s Game, still in the pipeline, leans violent. With Afterburn, he’s going all-in: guns, mutants, flamethrowers, and the occasional artistic moral crisis.
Think Mad Max: Fury Road meets National Treasure—if both were remade by Zack Snyder during a midlife crisis.
There’s no subtlety here. Every line in the trailer sounds like it was tested in a testosterone lab. “The world is a gladiatorial arena,” Jake growls. “A worthy opponent is hard to find.” Cue explosions. Cue mutant growls. Cue a pirate swinging from a rope into a laser cannon.
Subtle? No. Entertaining? Maybe.
The Dumbest Script Alive?
Even fans of dumb-fun blockbusters might flinch at the writing. Cringe lines dominate the trailer like fallout on a Geiger counter. “You let me do that. That’s what I’m for,” Jake snarls, in one particularly meme-ready moment. It’s trying so hard to sound cool, you almost want to give it a hug.
But let’s be fair—there’s something charming about a film that knows it’s ridiculous and leans in harder. Like an ‘80s B-movie found buried under a nuclear silo, Afterburn might just scratch that itch for fans of outrageous genre pulp.
You’re not here for Shakespeare. You’re here for a flamethrower fight on a crashed plane, followed by a mutant duel in the Louvre.
More Than a Painting?
What Afterburn hints at—beneath the muscle and mayhem—is a cracked idea about what we preserve when the world ends. Artifacts. Symbols. The things we once agreed had meaning.
And in the middle of that: a guy like Jake, who doesn’t care about meaning, but about having. That’s interesting… if the movie has the guts to go there. But don’t hold your breath.
Final Word
The Afterburn trailer is ridiculous. Loud. Probably stupid. But also, undeniably fun-looking. There’s a place for films that go full bonkers, especially if they embrace their own chaos with flair. Just don’t expect nuance.
So… is this a future cult classic or an imploding disaster? I honestly don’t know.
But I’ll be there for the flamethrowers.
Afterburn is directed by J.J. Perry, written by Nimród Antal & Matt Johnson, based on the comic by Scott Chitwood & Paul Ens. Produced by Toby Jaffe, Neal H. Moritz, Steve Richards, and Dave Bautista. The film will be released in theaters sometime in 2025 via Inaugural Entertainment. Exact date TBA.
Would you risk radiation poisoning for a painting… or is Dave Bautista enough of a masterpiece?
