There are good ideas. There are bad ideas. And then there’s whatever Hollywood is doing with the Street Fighter reboot—an idea so unhinged, so gleefully chaotic, it’s either a slow-motion trainwreck or the second coming of Scott Pilgrim. No in-between.
Let’s not bury the lede: There is no writer. No distributor. No script. And yet—production begins this August in Australia. It’s like watching someone jump out of a plane with no parachute, just vibes.
And yet…
Somehow, this thing is alive.
We now know that David Dastmalchian (The Suicide Squad, Dune) has officially signed on to play M. Bison—the big bad dictator with psycho power and a cape that screams “final boss energy.” Just last month, the role was circling Walter Goggins. (Apparently, the villain role is cursed. Or blessed. Still unclear.)
Cody Rhodes, fresh off WWE stardom and a WrestleMania high, is in talks to portray Guile. Yes, the American military flat-top with the sonic boom. That tracks. Barely.
But wait, the chaos only begins there.
Chaos Roster: Who’s Who in the Mayhem
Let’s run it back. 50 Cent is playing Balrog and reportedly undergoing “intense martial arts training” because he wants to do his own stunts. That sentence alone belongs in a museum. There is still time for him to fake a hamstring tear and pivot back to producing crime dramas and Vitamin Water commercials, but we’ll respect the commitment—delusional or not.
Jason Momoa as Blanka? He’s going full green body paint and jungle roars. Somehow less ridiculous than Noah Centineo as Ken, a casting so baffling it feels like the punchline to a joke no one told. Netflix’s resident nice guy is going toe-to-toe with Roman Reigns’ Akuma—a literal demon with fireballs and murderous intent. Okay, sure.
And then there’s Andrew Schulz as Dan Hibiki. Arguably the most annoying Street Fighter character ever created—equal parts comic relief and punching bag. Schulz might be the only human capable of pulling this off without irony.
Oh, and Orville Peck—yes, the masked alt-country singer—is playing Vega. If this were a parody, it’d be too on the nose. But it’s real. Someone wrote it down. Someone cast it. And now it’s canon.
Eric Andre is… a Ring Announcer? Why not. That’s actually the sanest casting choice in the entire production.
And in case you were wondering if there’s anyone playing it straight, breathe: Andrew Koji (Warrior, Snake Eyes) is Ryu. And Callina Liang, in a rare nod to casting sanity, will portray Chun-Li.
Behind the Madness: A Director with a Taste for the Absurd
The man tasked with wrangling this circus? Kitao Sakurai, known for directing Bad Trip—a bizarre, hilarious hidden camera comedy that involved Eric Andre being tackled by real people in public places. The Philippou brothers (Talk to Me, Bring Her Back) were initially set to direct, but stepped down in 2024.
Sony was initially backing this $100M gamble. But shortly after Sakurai boarded, the studio pulled Street Fighter from its March 2026 release slate. No updates since. We don’t know if they’re quietly ghosting the project or just waiting for this fever dream to end. Either way, there’s no confirmed release date. Yet the cameras roll in August 2025.
The Point of No Return
No writer. No release date. A cast that feels curated by an algorithm tripping on absinthe. And a director whose claim to fame involves Tiffany Haddish, hidden cameras, and fart jokes.
And yet—there’s a part of me that’s rooting for this mess.
Because in a sea of sterile, play-it-safe video game adaptations (Uncharted, anyone?), this one dares to be bonkers. Dares to fail. Dares to cast 50 Cent as a boxer and Orville Peck as a claw-wielding matador.
Maybe it’ll be a disaster. But at least it won’t be boring.
Your move, Hollywood.
