We’re officially two weeks into 2013, and the first stomach-churning, head-swelling reboot news has already surfaced.
William Wyler‘s 11 Oscar-winning Ben-Hur (the first film in history to receive this many Oscars – and back then when Oscars actually proved the film’s worth, and now tied with Titanic and The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King as the only film to accomplish that feat) is now getting a reboot. Why on Earth would that be happening, you might ask? Well duh! – because they can. And because they have no shame… no shame at all.
MGM has bought a script from Keith Clarke, that is based on the Lew Wallace novel Ben-Hur: A Tale Of The Christ, as the Wyler picture was.
However, the project is intent to tell a different story than 1959 masterpiece (oh, look! They’re gonna reinvent hot water!), breaking off on its own in two main ways: firstly, it will focus on the “formative years” of childhood friends, Judah Ben-Hur and Messala, climaxing with the moment in which the latter betrays the former, selling him into slavery which (eventually) leads to revenge and famous scene of chariot races.
And oh yeah, this new version will feature a “parallel” story of Jesus Christ (if he really existed, I BET he’d centrifuge in his unknown, unmarked grave from all the chewed and re-chewed biopics), who meets up with Ben-Hur at various points, and is eventually sentenced to death by Pontius Pilate.
So yeah, you’ve guessed it – MGM wants the easy-money I mean Christian market. You can add this to the pile of the other God-themed movies in development, including Ridley Scott’s Moses, Steven Spielberg’s Gods And Kings, Darren Aronofsky’s Noah and a sh*tload of others.
Oooh! Maybe they could do a crossover with the Pontius Pilate film (with Brad Pitt potentially starring) and make one big happy extorting-money-from-the-fanatics project – NOT (if someone actually reads this rant and decides that the previously mentioned is a wonderful idea, I’ll kill myself. But i’ll ask a big percentage first, you know, for my potential offsprings… or – more likely – animal shelter)!
Now that I think on it, the religious people are just as funny bunch as any other fandom – they’d buy and see everything their favorite franchise poops out, heheh. And I’m saying this as a Star Wars fan.
No word yet on directors or stars, but good luck to whoever takes it on… and be warned! You, sir/ma’m, will be an elephant-sized target for my lash.
Ben-Hur (1959) trailer:
The Charlton Heston version of Ben Hur included many run-ins with Jesus. That won’t be an innovation to this newly announced reboot.
You’re right, of course. But then again, there can hardly be a room for innovation in any reboot/remake, and there are some things which are not to be trifled with, better left unadapted or non-rebooted. To me, even an attempt at dabbling with films of this magnitude appears as a mockery more than anything else :/