Every Minute Is a Step Towards Death… And This Trailer Feels Like a Stumble
Five years after The Old Guard slashed its way onto Netflix, Charlize Theron's Andy is back—but this time, she's mortal. The trailer promises ancient grudges, slick combat, and Uma Thurman lurking in the shadows like a vampire at a brunch buffet. Yet, something feels… off.
The Good, The Bad, and The CGI
The first film was a messy but fun romp—John Wick meets Highlander, with a side of existential crisis. This sequel? Doubles down on the chaos:
- New Blood: Henry Golding smirks through what looks like a villain role. Uma Thurman's presence? Mysterious, but Kill Bill fans will perk up.
- Old Wounds: Veronica Ngô's Quynh is pissed—rightfully so, after centuries trapped in an iron coffin underwater. Revenge arcs? Always juicy.
- Mortality Blues: Andy's lost her immortality. Great stakes… if the script doesn't waste them on Fast & Furious-level one-liners (“Then you're coming with me!”—oof).
But here's the rub: The action looks sloppy. Wide shots hide choreography, CGI blood sprays like a ketchup bottle, and the dialogue? “A battle thousands of years in the making”—yeah, and it's edited like a TikTok fan-edit.
Why This Feels Like a Missed Opportunity
Hollywood's obsessed with immortal warriors (Deadpool, Wolverine, Keanu Reeves' entire career). But The Old Guard had a shot to be different—mixing emotional weight with bone-crunching action. The trailer? Leans hard into the latter, with Theron scowling through explosions like she's Mad Max on a coffee break.
History Repeats: Remember Underworld? Started strong, devolved into leather-clad nonsense. The Old Guard 2 risks the same fate—style over substance, CGI over grit.
Stream It… But Temper Expectations
If you loved the first film's vibes, you'll probably enjoy this. But if you're hoping for John Wick-level precision or Logan-depth? Manage those hopes.
Would you watch an immortal warrior flick if the script wasn't? Drop your take below.
